The Bacteria Farm

Dave and I have decided to make our own kombucha - an effervescent, probiotic beverage that we mutually enjoy. A bottle of bubbling intestinal regularity costs about four dollars, but if you brew it yourself in a big glass jar or a claw-foot tub it costs fifty cents a serving. We purchased a gallon glass jar from the Container Store, a box of organic green tea, a bag of sugar and a bottle of commercial kombucha.

Once we began boiling the sugar and water, Dave referred back to his directions and realized that we needed to grow a scoby before we could brew the kombucha. A scoby is a slimy bacteria culture that resembles a mushroom or a soggy pancake.

This is not a pancake. This is also not a picture of me holding a pancake. I don't know who this is.

You need scoby to start brewing kombucha and every finished jar of kombucha produces a new scoby that you can give as a gift to a confused friend. So why not give the gift of digestive balance this holiday season? There’s no cure for the nausea caused by receiving a scoby like a tall glass of probiotic drink.

We found detailed directions for making a scoby using a bottle of kombucha online. It appears that you brew a saucepan of sweet tea and pour it into a jar with twelve cups of water and a bottle of finished kombucha from the grocery store. Then you cap it with a towel secured with a rubber band and watch it grow for three weeks. When the time comes, you lift out the glob of bacteria and use it to brew a jar of delicious kombucha. The rest of the jar goes down the drain.

If you like instant gratification and want to produce a jar of kombucha sometime within the next month, you could buy a designer scoby online or get one from a kombucha chemist you know and trust. Or put it on your Christmas list. Maybe Santa will take note of your need for a doughy disc of single-celled organisms.

Valentine's Day isn't too far away.