Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Nematodes in Popular Culture

In Season 1, Episode 1 of Doug, called “Doug Bags a Nematode,” Doug captures a nematode to become the hero of Bluffington. The supposed nematode, which resembles a small, lumpy moose, turns out to be Doug’s dog Porkchop under a coating of mud.

In Season 3, Episode 2 of Real Housewives of New Jersey, Melissa says, “The nematodes looked just like spaghetti. I’m Italian, so I know what looks like spaghetti.”

In the film Inception, Dom Cobb’s team is forced to move more quickly through the second level of Robert Fischer’s dream as nematodes infiltrate the labyrinthine dreamscape.

“Nematodes” is a song by Billy Currington, on his album “A Little Bit of Everything.” In the chorus, he sings:

I’ve been down some ugly roads
But at least I don’t have nematodes

“Nematode” is a song by Of Montreal, on the album “The Bedside Drama: A Petite Tragedy.” The song makes no mention of nematodes, but it is characteristic of the band to fuse a titular reference to a devastating parasite with buoyant melodies and hooks.

In the Soap Opera “General Hospital,” 12 year old Michael Corinthos III falls into a seemingly permanent coma after a nematode infection causes damage to his brain. Two years later, Dr. Patrick Drake removes the nematodes using an experimental surgical procedure and awakens the now 17 year old Michael, now played by Drew Garrett.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

My Future Illustrating Career

My senior project is becoming an ugly comic book. During my last senior project meeting, my adviser suggested that I draw an image for the cover. "I'll get to work on some stick figures," I said. "Whatever you want," she said. After advising me for several months and watching me turn my original project into an extensive series of sex jokes, she no longer expects me to be serious. This is for the best.

The following cartoons are illustrations,from my short story collection (with one dramatic work), "Grownups." Once again, I have resorted to the impressive technology of photographing them with my digital camera and shamelessly posting them on the internet. Please talk me out of using them.


The Diary of Stanley Amadeus Pope


Magic Tricks

Grownups (The play)



Perhaps I won't be an illustrator when I grow up after all.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

A Sonnet for Ana Perlerina

Sometimes, without warning, five page essays about Don Quixote become fourteen line Shakespearean sonnets about Don Quixote.

A Sonnet for Ana Perlerina

Though Ana’s blue of lip and green of skin
Her pockmarks are the graves of doting men
Though smallpox rot her left eye from within
The right one is more beautiful than ten
Her back stoops like a daisy without drink
To shield defenseless suitors from her eye
Though ten or twelve teeth fell out in the sink
Her soft, wide mouth and gums provoke my sigh
Her legs seem shapely underneath the sheet
Though palsy keeps her tucked into her bed
Her hair is thin and sparse like blighted wheat
Behold the luscious smoothness of her head
Would she accept a scorched and wrinkled man?
Flower! Pearl! Extend your withered hand!