Friday, July 16, 2010

The Remaining Teeth Bite Back

What did I ever do to you, Teeth? Is this your revenge for all of those years I didn’t floss you regularly?
At the follow-up appointment for my wisdom teeth procedure, the dentist dared me to challenge my teeth. “I have been challenging my teeth,” I said. “Yesterday I ate a sandwich.”
Since the procedure, I have been mainly eating oatmeal, cucumber soup, avocados, tomatoes, applesauce, pierogies, ice cream, melon, and pasta. Grapes turned out to be a no-no, but I had some just about every day to be sure. Then I chased them with an ibuprofen. The chocolate-caramel-pecan candies that have been tempting me from the coffee table were a terrible idea. A delicious, terrible idea. I wish I had one now.
I got adventurous when Dave came to visit me and had shrimp tacos. We had a feast of breakfast foods including pancakes, English muffins, eggs, and a rather out of place ice cream float. If I told you where we ate this feast, I would have to kill you.
Following the advice of the dentist, I ate a slice of pizza today. By the time I reached the crust, I felt certain that my swelling gums would burst through my cheeks. The prolonged toothache was subsequently followed by a headache, which led me to sleep for several hours in the evening.
I’m supposed to start rinsing my mouth with hydrogen peroxide. Somehow, putting hydrogen peroxide in my mouth seems counter-intuitive. My dad says you can also put it in your ear to prevent swimmer’s ear. I refuse to believe that this is safe.


  1. It's been a good week for food, you'd know if you had any teeth.

  2. Oh, it has been a good week for food, Chief. Now I'm going to cook that strange milky green squash that you wanted nothing to do with. :P